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Advice to New Moms: It Isn't The Big Things You'll Remember

The days are long but the years are short


There has been a huge numbers of DIY bloggers having babies lately.  I would link up to a bunch of them, but I fear leaving someone out (and nobody wants their newborn left out.) Just trust me when I say.. there are a LOT OF NEW BABIES in blogland!

So for today's Flashback Friday post, I thought I would share a bit of advice as an ‘experienced’ mom who has gotten through the baby stages three times and lived to tell about it.

This isn’t going to be a preachy “spare the rod, spoil the child” open-letter kind of advice post, since I hate those.  Instead I want to share ONE thing I learned about motherhood after my first child was about two years old, and it has changed my perspective about EVERYTHING.

Ready?  Here it is:

When you are a mom, your days are long, but your years are short. 
That is it.

When you have a new baby (or even older kids) the days can feel long and repetitive, and the monotony of your routine can become mind-numbing.

Motherhood doesn’t always seem memorable or noteworthy.  In fact, most of it seems downright dull. After you've changed the 100th diaper or answered “Whyyyy Mom?   Why!?   But WHY!?  Moooommmm!”   a dozen times you often found myself wishing that you could just make time fast forward.

It is difficult to enjoy all the stages of their childhood, because you are in the throws of it.  In the trenches.  SUFFERING.

We all have those days.  The kind you never thought you would have, since it isn’t that way in the baby shampoo commercials.

 Like the time the baby found the cat food, and appeared to enjoy it more than your lovingly prepared well balanced organic lunch:
Baby eating cat food
Or the day your two year old “helped” fill out your DMV registration forms:
Filling out forms
Or when your four year old thought that the dozens of freshly painted cabinet doors were, in fact, hop scotch squares and tracked paint EVERYWHERE.

Oh yes, we ALL have those days.   And as much as I can look back and laugh at it now, at the time other thoughts were running through my head:
“I can’t wait until they are older”
or
“I’m really looking forward to the end of this stage.”

But in hindsight, time really wasn't going that slowly.  In fact, it was flying by! And some of those days that felt ordinary at the time, were actually the most extraordinary.'

During those long, repetitive days so may things are routine and we take them for granted. But it turns out it isn’t only the big events and major milestones that you will love and cherish, but those little tender moments that didn’t seem like a big deal at the time.
Sleepy baby
Trust me, once those moments are over they will mean even more since in reality, they will have gone by way too fast.

We need to stop and look around and really SEE our children. Just stop and take in the fact that there will NEVER be another today.  Even if today feels a lot like yesterday, and you think it will be the same tomorrow.. it actually won’t.

That baby girl you see today:
Jj
Will be a goofy five year old in the blink of an eye:
5 year old

Your spunky 4 year old:
e
Will soon be venturing out into the world with her own hopes and dreams:
Hero day astronaut

Your skinny newborn:
IMG 6673
Will turn into a little boy with nothing more than a haircut :
Babys first haircut

And you are going to step back and wonder:
WHEN DID ALL THAT TIME PASS!? 

Alhough some of those stages won’t be your favorites, they will all be special since you won’t ever get a chance to do it again.  Even if you have another baby, it will never be exactly the same.

In order to celebrate the little moments that make my children so extraordinary, and so they will have a reminder of how special they really are, I made them this video.

 I am proud that they are my kids, and I am lucky to be their mom.   When I was selecting images for it, It was fun to look back through all my photo albums and remember back to all those little moments:  The ones I forget, the ones that made me smile, and the ones I wish I had savored more.

Those extraordinary moments that didn’t feel that way at the time.

And it was a great reminder that their childhoods aren’t over yet! As quickly as it is flying by, there is still time to stop and appreciate the extraordinary.  We should NEVER take the time we get with our children for granted, since you never know what the future will hold.

Our family has been so blessed to have healthy children, and it is often so easy to forget just how lucky we are.  We have been so fortunate that even with our fair share of bumps and scrapes, we have never had to hospitalize any of our children for a major injury or illness.  I am acutely aware that not every family is so privileged.  Good medical care is something you don’t really think about until you need it, and you always hope you will never will.

When we moved to the Bay Area we were really happy to find a pediatrician affiliated with Stanford Children’s Health and  Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital. Although we have never had to use it, is reassuring to know that we live in a area with access with the top-ranked Children’s Hospital in Northern California, They are committed to providing extraordinary care for children and in hopes of letting every child live a happier, healthier life.

It shouldn’t take a child getting sick for you to realize how short your time with them really is.  Even though it may not seem it at the time, those long days will be over soon, maybe even too soon.  So try to make sure you don’t miss it.

A great to way to start would be to create your own video, and take a trip down memory lane.  (It really was easy, just drop in the photos and personalize the sentiments and the app will do the rest.)


And remember, even though your days may feel painfully long, the years will be unbelievably short.



I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

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10 comments :

  1. Oh my Gosh. This made me tear up. Kids grow up so fast. I remember just a while ago having held my little one in my arms and now he is going to be a year old in 2 months :') .

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  2. I like this! I haven't reached the point where I feel tired of any of my baby's stages yet (she will be 9 months old next week), and the repetitiveness of the work doesn't bother me. But I do feel like the year is flying by! It makes me want more children so badly. I can't have another (for now), but I want to. It makes me sad that one day motherhood as a daily job will be over. I will be too old to have children and my youngest will be off to college. I can't imagine having no kids in the house.

    They do make DMV registration forms much prettier.

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  3. Beautiful post, Kim. It is hard to believe how fast the years fly by with our children - then we move on to our grandchildren... This year I have really felt it as my older grandchildren are embarking on their adult lives and making their way into the world. Seems like just yesterday we were cuddling with them. Such a bitter sweet time as we lose the child but, gain a new friend. Love your video - we have made several that are very dear to me - I love to watching them and remembering how they were.

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  4. Awwww that so sweet. I don't have kids yet. Where do I get those? ;) I want some. ;) Your kiddos are beautiful and blessed to have you for a mama. Thanks for sharing. <3


    really though? Hopscotch on your painted freshly cabinet doors?! *doh*! That's one of those moments you laugh about at their wedding toast right? <3

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  5. So sweet and a great reminder. I have been there and now my son is turning 9 in 2 weeks. Where did the time go?! It does fly by. Thanks for sharing this and the adorable pictures of your children

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  6. Beautifully written. I am not a mother as haven't been able to carry a pregnancy to long term but have often told my friends.. to enjoy these years, they won't be here long. Enjoy your children they are the most precious things that you possess.

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  7. Oh Kim, this was a wonderful take for this campaign. I loved reading this. And it is, unfortunately, so freaking true. My youngest is turning 8 soon and I do NOT know where that came from. I can't even talk about my eldest starting high school this coming year. Thank goodness for photos and memories. The years truly are SHORT.

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  8. SO. MANY. BABIES. Which definitely sucks for a lady with too many student loans to have one right now. Oh well. I'll just enjoy my wine in the meantime ;)

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  9. I love these! And um... I've had my Silhouette for over a year and never used it! What's wrong with me!?!?!

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  10. Love them!

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